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Apr 10

RAW: AFL Round 3 Wrap

Hamish What's-His-Name - Host of the worst show set in recent living history

Sometimes there are things that go on in the football world that are so horrible that even couch potatoes need to get their big bums moving in order to record their protest. I am not talking here about the substitution rule (ho-hum) or that Israel Folau is a $2m dud, but rather the Post Game show on Channel 7 on Friday nights. I mean, for starters, what is with that set?

Take a close look. Old photos of a MCG crowd presented as views through cheap make believe wooden window sills and fake 70’s stone work stickers stuck on the gyprock walls – some even have a darker side portrayed to give the impression the slate has some sort of shadow falling on it! Give me a break!

Then, you have a series of $40 trophies perched behind the ‘personalities’, with the grey one next to Tom Harley more suited to the national diving champion than for any footballing feat and behind Hamish Whats-His-Name is a framed photo of all the club captains, signed irregularly in gold pen – it’s a shocker.

You notice this stuff when you tune out from listening to the new personalities crapping on yet again from their cue cards about winning the contested possessions in the midfield while looking like someone is pointing a gun at them until you focus back on their grey tartan ties. I mean what the hell are they all about?

The show I would like to see is to have Fev dragged in each week from the casino, vomiting, the St Kilda School girl licking the ear of Rick Nixon (in his underwear) as he talks about winning the contested possessions in his mid field and Hamish WHN hosting with an even bigger image signed image of Nick and Zac having their bit of nude hi-jinx over his right shoulder before Jason Akermanis arrives to completely trash the set, finishing off by ramming the diving trophy up Hamish’s back side, if he is not already sitting on one which is a strong chance given the look on his face and that hair do.

Now Kerry Stokes, that’s a show that would guarantee to keep the punters up late at night watching, that justifies the cheesy cheap set and will give you the football rights until the day the earth really does warm up. So Kezza, get to it!

In the triumphal relationship between hopes and realities, two moments over this weekend are of interest. First, Guy McKenna with hope triumphing over reality saying the Suns in their 71 point loss showed ‘we are not going backwards’ which is isn’t saying much after a bye and then last week’s 119 point pants down performance at the Gabba – well I suppose he is right; $2.5m man, Karmichael Hunt had 2 kicks this week!

In the reverse, Eddie Everywhere’s claim to the MCG crowd ‘welcome to Collingwood’ on Friday night was the reality trumping hope that this was a balanced and fair competition (where such ruses as the draft system are rolled out to show how all sides about treated equally.) Pretty hard to sustain that belief when the AFL Commission gives its CEO bonuses for maximising crowds and television ratings, no matter the cost to lesser clubs, an approach that will forever just make the few big Melbourne clubs, and primarily Collingwood amongst those, ever stronger and more powerful.

Finally, Port. The SA State Government is about to spend $535m destroying perhaps the most beautiful cricket ground in the world to save this lot. Judging by their performances so far this season, $535m may well not be enough.

1 comment

  1. Henry Robinson

    This post carries lot of effective info about football! I’m the big dummy of football. I consider that football is more popular than cricket. Thanks :)

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