FRINGE – Chris Turner – Pretty Fly – Croquet Club – 3.5K

By Snoop Dogg (aka Peter Maddern)

Yo all you men and your bitches,

This man Turner will have you in stitches

Well maybe not right from the start

Cos he don’t really much look the part.

You see he’s blonde and he’s really pale

Christ you look twice to see if he’s male

And he aint like us, he aint no blinged up nigga

In fact our Mr T’s some pommy silver spoona.

His mate Stu, he’s one that’s real strange

And all Chris’ lion jokes have the mange

But you’ll like him, he smiles and he’s fun

Even if you do have sit through all his 50 puns


I’m not sure this is any rapper show

Cos he respects women and has no dough

He’s studied rocks and his accent sucks

(But shit man) Like this is the Fringe, so wtf

And man be sure to hang in there long

Cos he pops his veins with his final song.

Oh Mr Chris, do stay clear of our midday sun

Cos you’re worth seeing again for all that  fun.


(With apologies to all hip-hop artists and those who study the English language, including grammarians.)


Kryztoff Rating  3.5K

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